


not the chimera I know

by curlsinthewind



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt Liam Dunbar, Hurt Theo Raeken, Love Confessions, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:21:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27461125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curlsinthewind/pseuds/curlsinthewind
Summary: “Therewasa time that I would have died for you.”
Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken
Comments: 19
Kudos: 68
Collections: Thiam Big Bang 2020 Collection





	not the chimera I know

**Author's Note:**

> This is for The Thiam Big Bang 2020
> 
> First of all, big big big thanks to Sef who was awesome and very very dope and had very good points every time we discussed this fic. Also look at Sef's art! It's the best thing I've ever seen and I love it very very much (it's already printed on my wall :D). 
> 
> you can find it [here](https://sefinh.tumblr.com/post/634591932031647744/art-for-not-the-chimera-i-know-by-curlsinthewindrel=%E2%80%9Cnofollow%E2%80%9D)  
> Also big thanks to my beta Mercy, you are awesome and thank you for making this creation readable and helping me make this better. It was a blast working with you.  
> And lastly, thank you Adice for helping me with this at the very start and encouraging me to even join this event :D. I love you <3
> 
> I hope you'll like it! <3  
> tw: mentions of blood and violence

Dark black lines drawing along the boy’s veins were slowly fading away into his neck, disappearing just under his sweaty brown hair. That was when Liam realised the malicious chimera had changed to a caring genuine person, but still it was strange to see those black lines again and again, over and over and despite his every principle, it never became less strange.

Something like that wasn’t supposed to happen, something like that was supposed to be kept hidden under every other lie Theo had ever told.

_I’m not dying for you._

It should’ve been a secret just between the two of them and no one else was supposed to get involved. Not Gabe, not Mason, not anyone. He wasn’t made for this, taking away someone’s pain, caring about any other living creature.

_I’m not dying for you either._

Those black lines changed everything, but those words? They were a new beginning.

A beginning with a brighter soul, a brighter life. It wasn’t a secret anymore; it wasn’t a lie. Those dark lines made sure of it. Those green eyes were sparkling with joy every time the two of them were bickering about something unimportant again, those hands holding his own every time he was upset.

Theo had changed, his anchor had changed, and it didn’t feel weird nor wrong. It felt like it was supposed to be for all this time, like the final puzzle piece was in its right place at last.

Liam had lied that night; he had lied right to his face with his heart missing a beat. He had said those words for reassurance that everything was the same as before. Before he had become a werewolf, before he had met Scott, before the Dread Doctors, before Theo had risen back from hell. But none of the existing words could deny the truth; none of the words that had come from his mouth could supress the twisted feeling in his gut. None of them could hide the fact that he was in love with Theo Raeken.

His face was shining under the moonlight like a canvas and every expression he made was another colour added to the unfinished drawing. Liam watched him the whole ride as the streetlights flickering around the car created every kind of shade that had ever existed.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Theo asked and before, it would have sounded annoyed at best and rude at worst, but now it sounded amused with a hint of mirth.

“You are smiling,” Liam answered with a small smile of his own playing on his lips as Theo frowned and looked at the road again.

“Am I not allowed to smile?” he asked again quietly like there was no room in between them, stopping at a red light just a few minutes from Liam’s house.

“You are, it’s just not usual seeing you happy.” And maybe he shouldn’t say things like that because it made everything more awkward and he never knew how to act during conversations like this one and regardless he was still trying. Over and over drawing a pattern like those long narrowed black lines.

The chimera stayed quiet for a while thinking of a snarky comeback but when he exhaled a mouthful of oxygen there was nothing flippant about it.

“I guess a lot has changed since the last time I was happy.”

The Beta blinked at the response, grasping a memory from his mind, the day he had seen Theo standing on the bridge, his chemo signals screaming sadness and grieve. Liam couldn’t even imagine how long it must’ve been since he truly laughed, felt warm inside without his sister’s heart’s heaviness dragging him down. So, Liam just smiled.

_I’m not dying for you._

“Yeah.”

Liam was in love with that boy and as hard as he tried to keep it to himself, it became more and more difficult with each of the conversations they had. Theo would always look at him surprised by the sudden selection of words but then he would smile, the corners of his lips almost reaching his eyes. But as things worked around Beacon Hills, nothing was a secret for a long time, nothing could be kept hidden in this town and it was only a matter of time until his feelings would bubble up to the surface.

It’s in the stars, he told himself every time he went to bed with another question popping up in his head. He never knew what was going to happen the next day, especially since Scott had left for college, with every single member of the older part of the pack gone.

Some days would come and go like there was no supernatural in the world, like Liam wasn’t supposed to live a different life than any of his classmates, like there wasn’t a constant threat, danger waiting for him and his friends at every corner.

“Sheriff told us something about a lonely hunter running around the woods, he’s probably an amateur since he’s out in the wild like that,” Mason said during one of those lazy days, destroying any false presumption Liam had had about this very peaceful afternoon. Nothing was like it seemed.

“So it shouldn’t take long, right?” he asked tiredly closing his eyes and brought two of his fingers to the bridge of his nose. It wasn’t helping because his head was still spinning and the Beta felt his body protesting with distress from another mission.

“Me and Alec can go,” Corey offered suddenly, looking at the youngest werewolf who nodded confidently. Scott didn’t like it when Corey or Alec were involved in ‘hunters issues’ as they liked to call it, so it was reasonable when he breathed in fresh air to protest but before he could do such a thing Argent was already stopping him with one single wave of his hand.

“It’s okay, Liam. You were dealing with that pack of omegas yesterday; you should get some rest. I’ll go with them,” he said in a reassuring voice and Liam couldn’t do anything to stop his shoulders from relaxing and his eyes from closing with relief.

“Okay.”

It was supposed to be a quick action - telling the hunter to back off and start living a normal life. Liam was again lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling with small cracks in it, telling himself there was no certainty in tomorrow, there was no guarantee everything would go according to plan.

And he expected one out of two variants to happen. First, the hunter would go away without much violence having to be used. Second, the hunter would be stubborn, and Liam would have to persuade him into leaving town and if necessary, he would have to fight him. He really hoped the first one was going to be tonight’s case because he was too exhausted to fight and not even the other body lying in the next room could help him find any peace tonight.

Theo was a good distraction. Liam found out early into their friendship that he was good at reading emotions of the people around him, always checking his chemo signals, the beat of his heart, the regularity of his breathing. It was a routine by the time the chimera started living in the guest room across the hall.

Being the one in charge of Beacon Hills wasn’t as easy as it usually seemed with Scott and the others. They always found a way how to make it look easy and the way they co-operated was a gift that Liam often doubted he had.

Sometimes he would punch the chimera out of pure despise and sometimes he would punch him just because everything was so frustrating and punching the older boy was the only reasonable thing to do.

“The hunter attacked us,” Corey said the next day, a bruise on his cheek still healing, probably from a knife and despite all the fear Liam should have been feeling, he couldn’t bring himself to feel anything but bitterness. It was always the second option; it always had to be the harder way, the one where his life and the life of his friends and family were at risk.

“He told us he has an army and that they are ready to fight,” Argent continued displaying a map of the city on the vet’s table in Deaton’s clinic. “We found him here, so we assume their base is somewhere near this area.” Then he looked at Liam, waiting for his response and he could feel all the gazes tending on him. He wanted to let it be, he wanted to go to sleep and not worry about any hunters. He didn’t want to fight for his life. But it was his job, his responsibility, it had been his job from the moment he came to Beacon Hills, it had always been meant to happen.

“Theo and I will check the area and if we find something, we’ll call you,” he said after, looking at the chimera who was nodding in agreement almost satisfied, like he wasn’t going to let the Beta go on his own.

“You sure we don’t want to call Scott?” Alec asked, looking a bit nervous about this whole situation and Liam just knew he felt the same as him. No one here wanted to fight anymore.

“No. We don’t know how big the army is. After we find out what is going on, we can discuss it,” he answered and maybe his voice sounded quite tired because everyone was looking at him with something that was much too similar to sorrow.

“Are you okay?” Mason looked at him like he was a puppy with a broken leg and Liam couldn’t stand the pity in his eyes so he just nodded mindlessly, turning around to go to the preserve when suddenly there was an arm on his shoulder making him turn around.

“We don’t have to go tonight, you know?” It was Theo with another concerned look that made his guts twist in guilt but there was not much to say right now.

“The sooner the better, right?” he said and tried to put on a fake smile but there was no one he needed to convince of his well-being other than himself.

The car ride was full of tense silence and it was clear Theo had something on the tip of his tongue, something he oh so desperately wanted to say and he even opened his mouth so words could come out, but there was nothing, absolutely nothing. Which was what Liam hoped they would find out in the woods, nothing - just a false alarm.

But that was still a lie. He hoped there would be something, anything that would make his mind go away from the thoughts of endless duties, of sleepless nights, of leading a whole pack. Liam wanted to fight so his mind could finally take a break for once.

They wandered around for about half an hour when they caught a scent of gunpowder which was a great clue to finding their enemies’ hideout.

All the surroundings around them seemed untouched but the Beta had had enough experience to know that nothing looked like it actually was. Everything always looked a little different from the truth, exactly like a secret. Liam was starting to hate secrets.

The base for example was hidden under years of development and under a dump of rocks and cracks. They were hiding under one of Beacon Hills’ caves and like every other secret, it was revealed.

With a practiced caution Liam took his phone out ready to text Argent their location so if something happened, he would know where to find them. It was a method that had affirmed its purpose many times.

“Well, well, who do we have here?” A familiar voice came out of the shadows of the dark entrance to the cave and it was too confident for someone without at least some kind of power. Liam tucked his phone back into his jean pocket, glad that he had managed to send the message.

“Monroe,” Theo said with hatred, spitting out the name like some disease and the boys immediately stepped closer to each other, the one and only sentence lingering in their minds.

_I’m not dying for you._

He was not dying for Theo tonight and the chimera wasn’t dying for him either, it was an unspoken secret, it was just between the two of them, locked in the walls of the hospital elevator.

“Scott’s little Beta and the enemy,” she spoke again, this time coming out under the spots of light. She wasn’t alone, there were other heartbeats - maybe ten or twenty - Liam couldn’t tell but they were a lot, he was sure about that. He looked at Theo and the puzzled expression told him Theo didn’t know either.

“What do you want?” he asked and tried to sound as infuriating as he could, but the woman just smirked, her hand falling onto something attached to the belt on her hips. A gun.

“You know what I want, Liam. I want all of you to die a painful death.” The words ran down his spine and the hair on his neck stood up due to the sharpness of that sentence.

“Well, that’s not happening.” And after Theo said that, he looked at him with a question for some permission, permission to fight, to start a riot. One look into his green eyes and everything they needed to know was spoken.

_I’m not dying for you._

Theo attacked first, going after Monroe, trying to surprise her with his quick movements. In the meantime, Liam turned around sensing another couple of heart beats threatening to attack. He took one man down with his fist punching him in the stomach hard and then moving on to another, grasping his throat in between his claws. Then a strangled sound of pain rang out into the fuss and Liam moved his head in that direction.

Monroe injected some liquid into Theo’s neck, the long brassy syringe burying deep into his throat. The chimera stopped in his movements, yellow lines copying his veins creeping from the base of his chest to fade away in his arms. There was a deafening silence in the forest, everyone still at their place, standing like statues.

Liam held his breath as he watched the scene before him. His body was glued to the ground and he just couldn’t comprehend what was happening. Fear creeped up his body until it reached his heart, he couldn’t move as he waited for what was going to happen next. There was something thick and eerie in the air and it made Liam sick to the pit of his stomach.

“Kill the Beta,” she ordered. Theo was frozen for a while, breath heavy and muscles stiff. It looked like his mind was having an internal grappling with his body, his green eyes moving across Monroe’s face hurriedly.

“Theo? What is she talking about?” Liam watched the whole thing from afar with one hunter’s throat still clasped in his claws. No one dared to move, waiting for what was going to happen, waiting for someone’s death. But Theo wasn’t responding, his heart beating in an erratic rhythm.

“Kill him,” she said again, the words spitting out like a bloodcurdling curse from her mouth twisted in a malicious smirk.

The chimera finally moved his hand still hanging in the air and took it down to stay by his side. His trance-like state slowly disappearing in a dubious look in his glowing eyes. One blink, and the yellow was gone, a sparkling cold blue superseding the warm colour.

“Theo, you are freaking me out,” the werewolf’s voice shook with every syllable and he hated it. He hated how vulnerable he sounded right now. Liam had absolutely no idea what was happening in there.

With one swift flick, the other boy stood next to him, the hunter carefully moving from the grasp at his throat. Liam just stared at Theo when the chimera growled dangerously. Out of the blue, a fist punched him right in the face and he stumbled backward away from the chimera. Theo’s eyes glowed at him threateningly and Liam didn’t know what to do. What had Monroe done to him?

The other boy lifted his fist again, ready to punch him in the stomach and if it weren’t for those unfamiliar garish eyes, he wouldn’t even have protected himself. So, he stepped back once again, noticing the wall of hunters building behind him.

“Theo, stop.” But the chimera only growled again, his fangs revealing themselves to the world, and Liam just knew this was not the Theo he loved. He just knew he didn’t want to fight him because if he did, he would never forgive himself. Theo punched him again, this time in the chest, knocking the breath out of Liam’s lungs for a second but just in that second Theo tackled him down onto the ground.

He should fight, he shouldn’t just give up and let Monroe and her army win but Argent was on his way, he had surely called Scott. She wouldn’t win even if this fight was already almost over because now Theo hovered over him punching him again and again, in the face, stomach, chest. Liam felt the blood slowly running down his chin, he saw the wounds on Theo’s knuckles but still, he couldn’t bring himself to fight back.

Monroe’s wicked laugh sounded from somewhere far away and Liam felt like a traitor, leaving the chimera behind with that evil thing that called herself a human. He was leaving his love alone, letting Theo kill him simply because he was not going to make a show out of it. He was not going to show Monroe she had won because there was something she didn’t know.

She didn’t know that Theo was Liam’s anchor, and it was far easier letting himself go when the other boy was just a breath away. It was far too easy to leave all his anger behind.

“Why aren’t you protecting yourself?” she suddenly shouted, probably frustrated by the lack of action because this was supposed to be a big show and none of them was giving it to her. Liam didn’t answer, partly because his mouth was full of warm blood but partly because he was curious how much further he could push her limits.

“Say something!” And Liam thought it was meant for him and that he should have said something, but instead of silence Theo cut right through it with a raspy voice much deeper than his normal voice.

“Come on, Liam you don’t want me to win, right? You don’t want to die by someone who manipulated you to the point where you almost killed your Alpha, do you?” Those words stung like the needle that was just moments ago in Theo’s neck, but Liam remained in his place on the ground, looking straight into those cold eyes. He tried to find something alive, something that would tell him the old Theo was still there. He found nothing.

“I betrayed your whole pack, Hayden died because of me, don’t you want to kill me? Don’t you want to honour your friends?” His claws buried themselves in Liam’s neck and he gasped. It hurt, it hurt so much that he saw darkness in front of him. This was the end.

“No,” he croaked and that seemed to satisfy the other creature because the claws moved slightly away but not too much. Liam could still feel how they scratch his healing throat, keeping him from moving.

“Why are you lying? You know I hurt you. I wanted to leave you with those Ghost Riders; you almost died because of me.”

“But you didn’t leave me. You stayed, we fought together!” Every word was painful, his eyes were closing again. Theo was killing Liam and there was nothing stopping him. His throat was throbbing and his heart hammering in his chest, slowly increasing its pace as his body started trembling with cold that came from the ground beneath his back.

“You don’t have to stop,” he whispered closing his eyes because he was not fighting against Theo anymore, he was letting him win, he was letting Monroe win because there was so much more in the war than just hunters and supernatural beings. It looked like the chimera stopped in his movements, making Liam open his eyes again since the grasp loosened a little. Something flashed in those blue eyes, something warm and familiar but the werewolf didn’t have much time to think about it before Theo was talking again.

“Liam, I know you hate me. Just take what’s yours.” All those words were false; it was exactly what Monroe wanted. It triggered something in him. Liam wanted to fight now, he wanted to show Theo that he didn’t hate him, he wanted to fight with him, he wanted to fight with him against the hunter’s army.

“I don’t hate you, Theo.” If there was something, anything that could bring Theo back from the daze he would at least try, he could try to bring him back because that was what he was good at, bringing Theo back.

“I love you.” It stung opening his feelings just in that moment but if he was going to die, he could at least save Theo. It was finally Liam’s turn to save him.

But Theo only snorted, his fangs shining under the moonlight and the Beta shivered under the icy glare.

“You know, there was a time that I would have died for you,” the chimera said, and it was like a cold shower, his whole body freezing because that sentence brought _him_ back. Liam knew what the right thing to do was. Theo deserved so much more.

“It’s okay, I can die for you.” Blood spurted out of his mouth and he was sure these were his last minutes, but it was okay. He could die for Theo; he could die for the love of his life. It was his job; it was his job since he brought the chimera back, his responsibility. Liam looked at the other boy for the last time and saw something different.

Theo’s expression softened, the wavering hand above his head shaking a little. He closed his eyes for a moment and Liam studied his face carefully. The grip on his throat lightened even more and his healing finally kicked in and then it struck him. Theo was fighting the poison again.

The chimera was breathing heavily, drops of sweat sliding down his forehead and there was nothing the werewolf could do other than wait. He was done fighting; he was not going to fight Theo anymore.

When the other boy opened his eyes, the freezing blue disappeared. Instead green irises were staring back at him and Liam relaxed instantly. He had done it; he had brought Theo back.

“Who do you want to take out first?” he asked and only then Liam realized Theo’s heartbeat had gone back to normal, the famous smirk playing across his lips.

Those black lines were there again, sliding from his fingers to the chimera’s where it faded on the neck. He was taking Liam’s pain; he was saving him again. This time though it was still the same, it was still them and no words could change that, no black lines could change that.

Suddenly the space between them was being torn by other heartbeats coming in the foreground.

“Monroe,” he growled, focusing on the woman’s heartbeat. Theo’s smirk changed into a genuine smile at his answer and waited for some signal Liam didn’t know.

“Kill him already!” Monroe’s voice cutting through the fog of tension was apparently the right moment to strike because Theo moved closer to him, his lips almost touching Liam’s ear.

“It’s show time, baby.”

_____________________________

“Did you mean it?” Theo asked him, looking at Liam carefully like he was afraid he was going to snap at him.

He hadn’t killed her, even if he wanted to, but after Argent had finally showed up with backup and helped them fight the army off, Liam had known that killing Monroe would just make him something he despised.

“You’ll have to be more specific than that, Theo,” he whispered while watching as Monroe was led to the police car by sheriff Stilinski. They’d done it, they’d won. At least for the moment.

Theo just hovered there for a while obviously gaining some courage back into his esteem.  
“Would you really die for me?” he asked finally, the look in his eyes changing to something more caring, something more alive.

“I already told you that I’m not dying for you.” It was like with the punching, it just seemed reasonable not to tell the truth even though Theo must’ve felt the skip in his heart.  
“Did _you_ mean it?”

“You’ll have to be more specific than that, Liam.”

The Beta just snorted and couldn’t beat the smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Everything felt so much easier when Theo was around, it was only natural to let his emotions off the leash.

“Was there a time you would have died for me?”

Theo was quiet for a while, watching as the police cars drifted away. Liam looked at the side of his face seeing soft lines of moonlight gracing the chimera’s face.

“There _was_ a time that I would have died for you,” he said, and Liam didn’t want to think about why the sentence was in past tense because it brought too many unpleasant memories. Fortunately, the Beta didn’t have to stay in the dark for long, since Theo was opening his mouth again to continue.  
“But now I guess-“ He looked over at Liam causing their gazes meeting in a calm way that made the Beta relax.

“I guess that I don’t want to leave you here alone.”

Liam wouldn’t say that he was completely surprised. What other reason would Theo have for staying? What other thing would keep him in Beacon Hills? He didn’t say anything, what was there to say anyways? All the harrowing events were past them, now there was only peace.

“Do you really love me?” Theo asked after it was obvious that he was not going to get a response. Liam looked at his hands; they looked small and definitely more interesting than answering the question.

“Yeah.” He hated secrets. Maybe it was finally time to let them come out of the dark, maybe it was finally time to push those closed doors open. Liam didn’t want to hide anymore.

Suddenly, there was another hand joining his. It looked so much bigger than his hand, so much warmer too. Liam held his breath as their fingers intertwined. Theo lifted their joined hands to his lips and kissed the back of the Beta’s hand.

“Me too. I love you too.” And then he smiled, his teeth shining under the mesmerizing night sky. He smiled and it was all Liam needed in his life because Theo was happy and it didn’t matter if they had both been dying just moments ago. He didn’t care about the substance that had made the chimera powerless and easily manipulated. He didn’t care about Monroe nor her army.

So Liam smiled too and squeezed Theo’s hand tightly because they didn’t have to hide anymore. Everything was out in the open.

Liam didn’t feel heavy anymore. It was like the hand holding his was also carrying half of his burden.

And then, out of pure happiness, Liam moved forward. His arms circled around Theo while his head landed on the chimera’s shoulder.

“Thanks for saving me today,” Theo whispered, kind of breathless like he didn’t expect such a move from the other boy, but Liam just snuggled even more into the embrace before whispering back:

"You saved _me_."

**Author's Note:**

>  **my Tumblr:** curlsinthewind  
>  **sef:** sefinh  
>  **adice:** sapphicarcane  
>  _(her message to you: stream walls by Louis Tomlinson :)_  
>  **mercy:** parttimehuman


End file.
